2 Corinthians 12:8-10 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Shabbat Shalom Mishpicha And Chaverim
Early this week, I thought I knew what I wanted to share regarding the recent events happening on the news. I was going to write something about the violence that is plaguing our city. Then on Friday at work, I had a supervision meeting with our clinical supervisor. She began the meeting by saying that they loved me as a therapist. That I am great with the patients, and my work is excellent. However, she then said, we are concerned about your grammar when you write your progress notes.
Before this meeting, I had informed her that I have dyslexia, where I struggle with reading and writing. So during the session, I explained to her how I have invested in grammar software to help me write better. She was understanding and sympathetic to my struggle and mentioned how they want to help. She then said she saw an improvement within my notes. I responded that it is due to grammar software.
After the meeting, I went back to my desk. I felt slightly discouraged and frustrated because I have heard this at every job I had. Not until I was in my late 20s, I realized I had a reading disorder. I'm visional with learning, so when I need to learn something, I go youtube and other resources to teach me without me reading. Despite this, though, I realized I was being too lazy to reread what I'm writing. Before I left work on Friday, I reread my notes and saw errors. I was like, okay, Lord, I have to stop being lazy and do my part. Yes, this is a life long struggle, but I don't have to make excuses not to do my part in getting better. While in school, I was in special ed, and no one took the time to get me tested. So I just always struggled. When I learned computers in the 90s, I knew how to use technology to assist me where I fell short. Many wouldn't believe that I used to stutter, and now I can perform poetry. See, creativity comes easy to me. I can write poems, a play, or a song. But struggle with writing everyday English.
As I pondered on my defect, The Lord reminded me of a scripture that says 2 Corinthians 12:10 10; "therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." I know that I have many talents and gifts. I'm good at so many things. But when it comes to saying some words, reading, and writing, I see my weakness, and it humbles me to depend on G-D for strength in this area.
When reminded of my weaknesses, I can get discouraged and begin to self-loathing. But HaShem reminds me that He is made strong in my weakness. He is the one who brought me through every job and every level of education. Even though I have a disability, the Lord allowed me to get my Masters and worked as a therapist. But this also makes me sensitive to others who struggle with literacy and reading. Also, my son has dyslexia, and now that he is grown, we become a support to each other.
In closing, we all have weaknesses, and I believe HaShem allows us to have weaknesses to keep us humble and dependent on Him.
In Moses's story ( Shemot/Exodus 4 10-12), Moses said to HaShem; I can't speak, send someone else. HaShem responded I made man's mouth the dumb and the deaf. I'll teach you what to say. I believe this made Moses depend on HaShem on what to say. Therefore the same dependence Moses had we need to have. Going back to 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, Apostle Paul cried to HaShem to remove His Thorn in the Flesh. There are many interpretations of what his thone was. The point now is we all have a thone in our side, but HaShem, "grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
So please do not get discouraged and become stuck in your weaknesses. Rely on Him, and He will guide you through any weakness/ disability you may have and still used it for His glory."
Your Sister,
Shakina
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